Random thoughts

These few days into the new year…2018…have me reflecting…

I have a lot of random thoughts in my mind, with an itch of wanting to write them down somewhere.

I’ve been giving it my all to be the best mom that I can be and spending as much time as I can with my toddler. Every new day is a surprise with him. I want to create millions and millions of memories with him. I love him SO much. Growing up, I noticed how much I would care for my laptop or my guitar as if they were precious little babies, but having a real human baby that came out of me – the level of that is unreal. My overprotectiveness outpours, but there is no need to feel even a bit guilty for wanting to hold him as close as I do. I honestly do dream of meeting whoever he dates one day, but right now he is still my little baby (even if he doesn’t look it because he is super tall for a 3-year-old).

My husband, I’m so thankful for him. I’m thankful for the little family we created. I fall in love with our story every time I remember it. 🙂 I’m inspired to live life alongside him as we “work for a paycheck, rather than waiting to win the lottery” (like Bright Eyes once well said). I have just what I need in a partner standing right in front of me when I look at him every day.

I hope to continue with more schooling in the near future. I’m been getting my feet with with stock trading which has been very interesting, in a good way. I’ve been falling in love with old songs all over again. I’ve continued to work from home part-time for a company with the most flexible and caring boss ever. I’m still as organized as I always have been.

Aaaaand as cliche as it sounds, I realize that things just happen. Day after day just comes along, whether you do something with your life or not. You don’t even know when, but perfectly coincidental experiences occur and they pave the way to having something in our minds “just click”. Something that makes you really believe in not being afraid — of anyone or anything. What the heck for? To hold back, for what? You’ve made it this far.

Last year, having someone trying to break into our house, because they thought nobody was home…well, nothing close to that had ever happened to me before (might not sound relatable to some folks, but metaphorically speaking…). In the aftermath, to have people around me care — care to see me feel better after experiencing something — the soul just detects those vibes, you know? In the moment, it’s shocking to have those you thought would be there for you, not be, or have them react in a way you didn’t expect (maybe because of what they could personally be going through) however….what I meant was, those kind of unexpected moments and reactions, they stay in you. And whether you plan on it or not, you learn a lot.

When incidents happen out of our comfort zone that shake you up, touch your soul and/or challenge your reality — you can feel the change. You can feel your mind become stronger and your skin get thicker through the feelings you felt, the lessons you learned, the words exchanged, the words left unspoken, the outcomes. All of it.

And from time to time, my mind runs through all of the happy childhood memories that I lived through. They seem like distant memories, although when I close my eyes or I talk about them, they seem like yesterday. Something I’m helping create for my son now that his memory stage has kicked in. Remembering my childhood, makes me thankful. Thankful that because of my uplifting formative years, I can learn from things that have perhaps flustered me in adulthood, pick apart the challenge, and keep on going — I have a good head on my shoulders, they say.

At the end of the day, I strive to be a better person (mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend) every day. As I look back at me as a child — a happy little girl that loves people and had a loving set of parents and family around constantly — I can’t help but think positive, work every day to be better, and not be afraid of anything or anyone because I know where I came from, I know where I stand, and I know I mean well.

Much love in 2018,

-Cecy

Photo captured by: IG @muzele

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